Friday, May 24, 2013

So Terry, where's the updates?



First of all, apologies, apologies! I know I got some following on my blog now and some people are wondering what is going on now that I haven’t updated my blog for a week.

HAS TERRY GIVEN UP?

IS TERRY DEPRESSED AGAIN?

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE???

The answer to those questions are: No, no and 42. Respectively of course.

We are creatures made to evolve and adapt, and 20 days into my rejection challenge, it is time for me to evolve this challenge as well!

There are two main objectives in this project: to get myself more socially confident, and to fundraise and raise awareness for depression. I can say with a degree of certainty that so far, I have successfully generated quite a bit of interest, and the challenges themselves had been pretty helpful to me personally. Now that I am three weeks into my rejection challenge, I am beginning to get a feel for what is working and what is not, and I realized there are several issues I need to fix in order for this project to take off. The biggest issue is the lack of organization. I often find myself trying to think on the last minute for the daily challenges, and I often question and second guess myself the effectiveness and goal of doing these things.

Over the last several days, I temporarily suspended my rejection challenge to assess the direction I am going with this project (though I did do a challenge on my birthday on video to keep up the promise of a video a week…it’s coming out Sunday!) and decided to implement several changes when I reboot next Monday.

ONE: THEMED CHALLENGES

Starting next week, I will do challenges based on a theme indicated below. I will probably do 5 to 10 challenges per theme before moving on to the next theme. Before the start of each theme, I will do a write up to explain the purpose and the details of each theme. The themes are designed to make things more organized and interesting as well as help me in specific areas of social confidence. For each challenge, I will vlog right before and right after to talk about the thoughts and feelings and try to recap with more pictures and less words as promised previously. There will be a video for at least one challenge per theme.

Part 1: The Launch

The start of my rejection challenge where I did miscellaneous challenges to get a feel for this project. This part of the challenge is complete!

Part 2: The Pitch

During this part of the challenge, I will try to gather information and generate discussions regarding depression awareness, stigma, and my rejection challenge itself with people everywhere. This will not only help me grow confident in pitching for my own project, but help spread the word.

Possible challenges: The elevator fundraising challenge,

Part 3: Making Conversations

During this part of the challenge, I will try to get into conversations with various different people about various absurd topics in all kinds of settings. This is a good way for me to get myself comfortable in making and maintaining conversations with strangers. It will improve my communication skills and make me become more socially assertive.

Possible challenges:

Part 4: The Salesman

The ability to persuade others is an extremely important asset not only in the world of sales, but in life in general. Our ability to communicate persuasively is a skill that I severely lack. I will try to sell a variety of ideas and products to different people during this part of the challenge

Possible challenges: Getting funding for a business venture, selling condoms

Part 5: University Tour

It’s time to hit the road and travel a bit. Many of my old friends are studying for the summer and it’s a good time to catch up while doing some interesting challenges at different universities.

Possible challenges: Looking for free lodging, Offer to teach a lecture

Part 6: Dress Up!

During this part of the challenge, I will dress up in various ways and in costumes to look ridiculous and hilarious at the same time. I’d imagine I’ll be having a lot of fun with this, haha.

Possible Challenges: Dining at a restaurant in an onesie, trick or treating as Waldo

Part 7: Barhopping

As a guy who loves meeting new people, hearing stories and have fun, I’ve always been interested in the bar scene. However, due to my lack of social confidence, and what happened over the last several years, I never really took advantage of my legality. I will try to change that with this part of my challenge.

Possible Challenges: Getting Bartenders to teach me how to make drinks, getting people to buy me a free drink

Part 8: Picking up girls

Of course, it won’t be a rejection challenge if I don’t get rejected by girls. The goal here is to be real creative, because err, bitches love creativity ;D.
Once again, the goal here is to have fun with it, and not get attached to results, which we guys always tend to do when it comes to girls.

Possible Challenging: Using lame pickup lines, asking directly for numbers

Part 9: The Beach

The hope here is that I will have the beach body ready to hit the sands. ;D I will try a few bolder challenges on the beach and hopefully with a bunch of friends participating with me!

Possible Challenges: Asking people to rub sunscreen on me, join a beach valleyball game in progress

Part 10: The Finale

I will try to make the last few challenges grander and more personal.

Possible Challenges: Asking CP24 to forecast the weather, Asking R.A Dickey to teach me how to throw a knuckleball

TWO: FUNDRAISING AND MARKETING

The video and blog revenue will NOT be the only source of fundraising for this project. After several friends expressed interest to donate, I have decided to accept open donations from those willing to fundraise for this cause. I will set up a paypal account to accept online donations as well shortly. Although I will be even happier if you are willing to participate in a challenge with me, I appreciate any sort of help! 

I have scaled down the marketing after the release of my first video due to several reasons. I realized the quality of the video does not warrant the amount of interest I am trying to generate. It is obvious that I am only trying to get a feel for being on video at the moment, and it is rather uncomfortable than entertaining to watch me struggle on camera thus far. Too much publicity early on into this project is going to put unnecessary pressure and stress for me at this point. So I am planning to operate the challenges under a smaller spotlight until I feel more comfortable with more attention.

I will direct a video with a help of Derek and several friends in about a month to further explain the motivation and the goal of this project. That is when I plan to push for a bigger marketing campaign. For now though, the constant support of friends will do!

Once again, I will like to thank all of you for keeping me accountable over the last several weeks. I could have easily given up without you guys watching me, reading my blog! I promise I will not give up! For the sake of myself and everyone else!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Day 14: FREE HUGS! (Featuring Karen!)

video

I gotta admit, today was by far the most fun I had during any challenge I've done so far. The nerves got the best of me on day 8, but today was different. First time doing a challenge with a lovely friend by my side is certainly a plus.

   
Karen and her amazing selfie skillz
Parking our free hugs right at the busy intersection of Yonge and Dundas

I am not a good hugger. I can you tell you that, Karen can tell you that. So today, I guess not only will I learn how to take rejections, I will learn to get more comfortable with physical contacts.

I dared Karen to ask 10 people, including a mixed guy that she considers very attractive. And I'm supposed to ask 30 people. We parked ourselves right at Yonge and Dundas and things got started.

After we hugged, she really wanted a picture with us, cause of course I'm famous on the internet ;D


Karen claims that she gives the best hugs. But Evaine's face tells a different story here :P

She tried her best not to get blown away by the wind.
Two hours later, we got a countless number of hugs and we also got rejected a ton. At the end of it, I don't think either of us are much hurt by the rejections. Best hug of the day came from a huge black dude that clobbered us with a warm bear hug. I was honestly still nervous about asking asking girls I find attractive, and I'm planning to tackle that fear directly in the next challenge(I seemed to have no reservations with older people or guys in this challenge).

And Karen sorta completed her dare....well not really. The last person she hugged was a little three year old boy, and he happened to be mixed (evident by the White father and the Asian mother). I don't think that's what she meant by "a very attractive mixed guy", but I guess I'll let her slide. :)


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Day 8: Proposing to people using a ring pop(Video!)

AND HERE IT IS, MY FIRST CHALLENGE ON VIDEO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyVpdrV4_AU

A huge shoutout to Wendy once again for simply being awesome and sticking by me for the last 2 weeks, your help and support is just simply tremendous, oh did I mention she's the camerawoman? A BIG thank you to Derek for the shooting and the editing the video, he really did a sick job. CHECK HIS STUFF OUT ON YOUTUBE HERE:  And a special shout out to Sharon, your words of support over the last few weeks constantly reminded me to keep going whenever the thought of giving up crept in my mind.

And of course to everyone else who may have shared my videos, blog posts, gave my suggestions, told other people about what I'm doing . YOU GUYS ARE MY UNSUNG HEROES!

However, our work here is just about to get started.


video


What started as a self development project might be able to turn into something greater, and of course, being a guy full of ambitions, I will put forth the best possible effort in order for this to happen. For me to even start talking about depression, stigma and awareness, I need a steady following, and as much audience as possible.

This may include nagging every single one of my friends for the next few days to share this video, get other people to share this video and spread them words! This is the start of something big. I can feel it.

and some thoughts on being on camera:


Day 11: Borrowing $100 bucks off a stranger

I didn't get home til really late last night and had to do a challenge on the spot, so I decided to try this not-so-original rejection challenge. Once again, I'm not too proud of the fact that I cheated a little for this one. The challenges in general over the last few days have been lacklustre but I promise things will pick it up next week!

I waited at my condo hallways for a while until the elevator door finally opened. Out comes the security guard from my building and I did what I have to do.

"Hey man, can I borrow 100 dollars?"
"err excuse me?"
"I umm, really needed the money right now, can you give me 100 bucks?"
He hesitated a bit before explaining to me how he had 20 bucks on me, and how people generally don't carry 100 bucks on them. So I went on to ask him if he would have lend me 100 bucks if he had the money, and he smiled and didn't give me an answer. 

So why did I come home so late? Becuase it was video shooting day at Derek's yesterday! Going in, I knew I was gonna be alot better on camera and LO and behold! I was! The entire shooting took only 10 minutes as opposed to 2 hours on the pitch video. The editing was quite the pain though. I had to go through an hour of footages from my day 8 in my rejection challenge and putting together everything with the captions took quite a bit of time. Big props to Derek for spending hours with me yesterday in order to put together that video. It was really a sick job from him and you will see it in 2 days!

Like I've mentioned before, I do plan on doing some heavy marketing for this first video. I got 1.5 k from the pitch mainly from video shares on facebook, and I do plan to do an extra bit more marketing for this one.

I'm a big twitter noob. I do have a twitter account from years back but I have 4 followers! I know twitter marketing is such a good way to spread videos, but I got no clue on how to operate that thing. I shall refine my account a bit more after writing this post and take it from there. FOLLOW ME GUISEEEE!

https://twitter.com/youngweatherman

I am however, generally pretty keen on the interwebs(having wasted my youth dedicating to pointless shenanigans on it), so online marketing shouldn't be much of a problem for me personally. Optimism is in the air at the moment. I am expecting a 10k audience for this video and of course an increased following on this blog.

This of course means that I have to step it up content wise! AND STEP IT UP I WILL!

Over the next several weeks, I am expecting to do many of the challenges with friends. Of couse, we all know that we are that much more outgoing and confident when we are with people we know. I will also try to improve the quality of the blog...if there is a lack of a better way to say it. That means more pictures, more vlogs, brief but sharp, to the point writing.

Of course, with the video release, I am also expecting more ideas to flow to me. I am basicallly doing the challenges at this point based off ideas from my own head, but I expect that to change.

SO THINGS WILL ONLY GET BETTER FROM HERE! :)

Day 10: Finding a workout buddy

 I've carried the tag of being a short scrawny Asian kid almost my entire life. Though I've made some gains in the height department the last several years, I am still quite the twig.

On top of my 100 day rejection challenge, I also dedicated myself to a consistent workout program this summer. My issue has always been consistency. But now depression is a thing of the past. I have no excuses to not get my ass to the gym everyday.

Of course, by telling you guys about working out, I also hope you guys would keep me accountable for this as well. My blog is getting a consistent 200-300 page views a day and I have yet to make my first video! Having so many people just reading what I'm doing gives me the extra motivation, so thank you guys once again!

video


For today's challenge, I decided to find a workout buddy. However, not just anybody in the gym, I will approach the biggest muscle guy there! However, what happened today is a honest reminder that I have a long way to go in developing social confidence. I guess approaching the biggest guy in the gym is the equivalent of approaching the hottest girl in the bar. Today's challenge turned out to be the toughest one to date!

As you may have noticed, I am probably quite the heavyweight at the gym

The nerves began to appear even while I was still working out. Just thinking about what I was about to do made my stomach turn. I guess I am just really not confident and self-conscious when it comes to approaching bigger guys. I think this irrational fear stems all the way back to when I first began playing basketball. Always being the smallest guy on the court means that I am often the victim of ridicule, exclusion and bullying. I remember how I always wanted to be treated like an equal on the basketball court, but that didn't happen til...well... much later. (THANKS ALOT PUBERTY...YOU ARRIVED QUITE FASHIONABLY LATE ).

When I spotted this huge Asian dude with tats all over his arms, the nerves got worse. I ended up observing his workout routine and pretended to work out and stretch for twenty minutes. I learned a big lesson here too. The longer you hesitate and put it off, the worse it gets!

Oh yes, I also need to get better at ball. It's sad how this is the sport I've played since middle school yet I still suck


I ended up going upstairs to watch a game of basketball to calm myself down a bit. At that point, I made up my mind. I have to go through with this. No matter how bad of a shape I am mentally today, I will keep calm and carry...err get rejected I mean.

"LET'S DO THIS TERRY. THE GUY MAY BE DOUBLE MY SIZE, BUT NO, HE WILL NOT BEAT ME UP BECAUSE I ASKED HIM A QUESTION" *breathes

So I finally approached him while he was doing some bicep curls. He signaled for me to wait up when I went up to talk to him. When I finally got a chance to speak,my mind went blank and words just flowed out of my mouth .

"Hey, I saw you are pretty deezed up here, I'm wondering if you can be my workout buddy?"

He looked startled for a sec.

"I'm not exactly sure what you mean by workout buddy?"

I really wanted to leave at that point, but he asked me a question, now I have to explain things...and when I'm nervous, things just doesn't come out of my mouth right.

 "Like, ummm, we can go work out together at a time..and um stuff."

"I iunno man, I don't exactly have a fixed workout schedule."

He was the nicest guy. He went on to give me some advices on how to bulk up. But during the whole conversation, I just wanted to leave. Over the last ten days, I figured that a direct rejection was not the scariest thing, but to carry on with a conversation when you know you are full of shit. I am HORRIFIC at being articulate and confident when I'm in a position of vulnerability, and it is definitely something I need to continuously work on.

video


Today I'll be doing some shooting for the first video at Derek's. I hope I got much better on camera since that awkward pitch video. I guess we shall all find out soon. :)

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Reminants of depression and advices for all!

I have a confession to make. Despite declaring myself fully recovered from depression, I still have some grounds in order to fully get my life back on track.
 
I am yet 100% normal and productive, but these are the slow and steady measurements I am taking in order to get there. A normal healthy Terry is someone that likes to be extremely productive, and I’d be the first to admit I still have a bit to go in order to get there. I would like to use this post to dedicate to those who are also currently on the recovery from depression. On top of the therapy and medication, these are the measures all of you should follow! Even if you don’t suffer from depression, there things you can do to pull yourself through a rough a patch in life or even improve your self-esteem and social confidence!
 
Sleep
 
I personally am currently working my ass off in order to get myself into a 12-8 sleeping schedule. My problem during the depression is oversleeping, and I used to sleep upwards to 16 to 20 hours while I was depressed. I still sleep more normal, but I am trying my best to cut my sleep down to 8. I am not there yet, but with the way things are going at the moment, I am optimistic!
 
This is something that we younger people tend to ignore, but establishing a regular sleep pattern is vital! Try your best to sleep a fair amount at a regular time MOST of the time.  This doesn’t mean you can’t go out and party on a Friday night, (and I would be the first to advocate partying in fine doses). But staying up every night on the interwebs watching certain things til 4 in the morning (you can interpret that however you wish) is definitely NOT the way to go.
 
Exercise
 
I’ve been talking about this over and over again, but yes, I am working out in attempts of bulking up. Being a twig almost my entire life is almost certainly the biggest contributing factor to my low-self esteem and social confidence.
 
If anything, I think if I stayed with my workout and reached my desired goal. This will probably help my self confidence even more so than even this rejection challenge.
 
So the take home message here is simple. GO TO THE GYM AND EXERCISE. If you are the scientific kind of person that likes science, you know that exercise boost up your dopamine, one of the hormones responsible for you to feel happy. The long term benefits are even more worthwhile. Being fit and healthy almost certainly helps your self esteem and social confidence.
 
Social Life
 
Get chor ass out and meet some awesome people. Go to that party that your friends invited you to even if you are feeling like a lazy bum. Okay, I am not condoning getting shitfaced every night and abusing certain illegal substances. But if you are young, GET OUT AND HAVE FUN. Just don’t be stupid and know your friggin limit. I trust most of you are smart enough to figure that out.
 
Depressed people tend to like to cut themselves off socially. While you are depressed, even if you have even a small GLIMPSE of the urge to go out with your friends, DO IT! I
 
Hygiene and Tidiness
 
I’d be the first to admit I am not a very tidy person, and I was quite a bit worse in this department when I was depressed. I lose stuff on a daily basis and navigating through my room is often like going through a war zone. Now that I am home with my parents for the summer, they are pretty much onto me everyday about this shit. I’d admit this is an issue I need to address personally and I will continue to organize myself better. But we are all creatures of habits, and unfortunately, being disorganized has been my habit for life thus far, but I am consciously aware of this problem and will try my best to get into a better habit
 
There are research done on this and a messy living space has a very negative psychological effect on you. This is probably more subconscious than anything. BUT DON’T ARGUE WITH SCIENCE!
 
And oh… when you go out, don’t be lazy and make yourself clean and beautiful. Trust me, it will make you confident and happier.
 
Goals!
 
This is an aspect of me that I am very proud of. I am a very goal oriented individual. The most encouraging sign over the last several months is gaining back my ability to set realistic goals for myself. This rejection challenge itself is probably the most daunting of these goals, but I was able to plan and execute on the finer details up to this point. You guys are probably unaware of the amount of work I have to do behind the scenes in order to get to even this point, especially since I’ve turned this into a fundraiser. Once again, I admit I haven’t been the most efficient and productive yet, and I am not 100% satisfied in my performance over the challenges so far, but I’m getting there!
 
My advice for anyone recovering from depression is to set small realistic goals. Over-ambition has always been my own problem and I had to keep myself in check quite often in the planning stages of this project in order to keep my goals and challenges realistic. Don’t expect yourself to get anywhere fast, work towards your small goals and you will get better and better.
 
In conclusion
 
I don’t know about you guys, but to me, these pointers aren’t JUST for those recovering from a mental disorder…these are the pointers to…well…live a good life.
 
“But Terry… this is all common sense, and you sound like a hypocrite…”
 
I know it is and I know I do. But sometimes certain common knowledge is common knowledge for a reason. THEY WORK! But I just want to re-emphasize how important these things are in recovering from depression and basically living a good life. Like I said, I’d be the first to admit I haven’t applied myself entirely to these pointers. But I’ve only started to take minor steps and I’ve already received drastic improvements. Take small steps! Don’t expect yourself to magically change overnight.
 
Challenge on Day 6
 
Shannon mentioned that I skipped on the updates for Day 6. I was planning to give a brief update on what exactly happened that day but never got a chance to.
 
I came home late that day but thought of an excellent rejection challenge idea. But unfortunately the timing and the location aren’t exactly the best. I called this one, the elevator fundraising challenge!
 
Basically, I stayed in the elevator of my apartment building, with a sign that says “reject me”. Whenever someone walked into the elevator, I tried to use the brief amount of time they are in the elevator to convince them to fundraise for my cause. This is a very good exercise for me to improve my verbal communication skills faced with pressure and most likely a rejection.
 
But after only seeing two middle aged Asian guys getting on the elevator in a span of 20 minutes, both of whom rejected me rather coldly. I decided to call it a night. Okay… I admit: though I technically got rejected, I cheated a little bit today and did not go all out. Not to be stereotypical, and this is probably not the most politically correct way to say things (okay, not as BAD as the CHING CHONG LING LONG GIRL especially since I will become a part of this demographic in the near future), but…
 
Middle Aged Asian people aren’t the best people to do this on, they aren’t the most responsive to this kind of a pitch and are very unlikely to give you support. (Sometimes, a rejection isn’t the scariest thing, but cold apathy towards your enthusiasm). But since this is such a brilliant idea, I will do this particular challenge as a bonus challenge on video in the near future at a different location, and when I become a bit more confident.  

 

 

 

Friday, May 10, 2013

Day 9: Learning about love from the elderly

After attempting (somewhat successfully) of being epic yesterday. I decided to switch gears a little to something a bit more personal and heartfelt.
video


I bet you guys are all anxious to find out what exactly did I do yesterday. But unfortunately, I have to make you guys wait a bit longer. I've videotaped my rejections yesterday thanks to, once again, the help of Wendy (she has been tremendous to me early on, and in all honestly, I could not have gone this long without her help), and currently the video is in post production mode. I do plan to do some heavy marketing for this very first rejection video. Depending on the reception I get from this first video, I will get a better sense of where this project is heading. Once again, I really don't expect what I'm doing to go big. I mean, there are definitely funnier, cooler and more entertaining stunts out there. I can guarantee you there are tons of guys out there that pulled off similar things much better than I did. But after getting 1.5k views on my pitch video alone, it's easy to be optimistic. I guess what I'm doing may have a more personal appear to it, so we'll see.

I've been single since...well, let's just say a very long time. So for today's challenge, I went around to a number of elderly couples sitting at coffee tables to get some girl advices!

This is actually the first time I tried to engage in a longer conversations with strangers. So I guess in a sense, this challenge is out of my comfort zone a bit more than the rest. But elderly people are friendly and less intimidating, especially in a conversational setting. So it is a complete change of pace from yesterday.

I general approached them and asked if they have a few minutes for a conversation. I guess the elderly by the coffee tables are often approached by salespeople trying to make a sell. So I would usually promise them that I am not there to sell them anything. I guess I looked really genuine today, there were zero rejections! I did succeed in my challenge today though. I'll get back on that a bit later. ;D

1. A group old ladies at Mcdonalds

When I sat down and promised to just have a conversation, they looked rather startled at this odd request, but nevertheless they let me sat down to join them. When I started to ask about their first love, they had the biggest smile on their face.

And their advice? Trust is the biggest thing in a relationship. Look for the right girl and stick to her.

2. An elderly Greek couple by Tim Hortons

This couple has been married for 53 years! They told me stories of how they immigrated from Greece back when they are 16 or 17. They met through family friends when they are in their early twenties and have been together ever since.

While their love is story was not anything like Titanic, it was really nice to hear how they stayed together as a couple despite all the hardship they faced. They talked to me for 20 minutes. I can tell how much both of them enjoyed sharing their story with this complete stranger.

But when I asked if they would like to take a photo with me, they refused. BUT HEY, that's today's rejection!

3. An Asian couple by Mcdonalds

We chatted in English but switched to Mandarin when they realized I speak Chinese too! This conversation took a different spin, the conversation diverged from finding love to finding the love for God.

I am not a Christian, but neither am I atheist. I tend to have a very open mind when it comes to the bigger philosophical questions of life. They preached me about Christianity for 20 minutes and I joined them for a bit of a prayer. Of course, I don't agree with everything they said. But it's really a unique experience to learn  this different perspective in life. They are convinced it was an act of god that brought me over to them yesterday to have this conversation. I am just glad to made their day.

Once again, I got refused for a photo. I guess elderly people aren't the most comfortable in taking photos with strangers.

4. My own grandparents...

The conversations I had with the elderly made me realize how much I miss my grandparents. They were the ones that raised me in my childhood and they used to be my favorite people period. Though I did visit them in China last year, because of what I was still going through at that point, they did not see me at my best.

When I called them, my grandma was so cute, she kept on saying how she is probably not cool enough for me cause she's old, and of course, when I mentioned what I'm doing in the summer, they joked that they will be my biggest fans.

When I asked my grandpa about how how he met grandma, I knew I was in for a story. My grandparents are probably THE model couple. As far as I know, they trust each other to no ends, they never fight and they are the cutest old couple you'll ever meet. However, it was just merely a story of love, it was the story of their life. Despite how close I were was my grandparents, this was the kind of conversation we never really had when I was a child, and I was truly grateful they are willing to open up to me the way they did.

but of course, 爷爷奶奶,如果你在读我的博客,我是你们最大的粉丝;D (Grandma and grandpa, if you are reading my blog, I just wanna say I'm YOUR biggest fans!)



I did not get much as far as applicable advices are concerned, but what I gained today is invaluable. I was able to make a personal connection with people that I normally don't get a chance to talk to. Learning different perspectives and making connections with all kinds of individuals happens to be my favorite thing to do.

And as for what I've learned about my future love life? Even though I don't exactly agree with the generally conservative values held by the elderly couples today, I guess the take home message is clear: People in our life will come and go, if we continue to self improve, and continue to make our own life better, the right people will come at the right moment.

Even though mine barely got started, I can sense my love life is gonna be kind of a wild ride. But, I am sure now, as I continue to become more self confident, during this rejection challenge and beyond, when the right girl(s) come, I will be bold and assertive enough to do the right things.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Day 7: Getting someone to buy me alcohol

Today was going to be the big day! FIRST REJECTION VIDEO SHOOTING DAY!

but nope... it just wasn't my day.

My first sign of bad luck came at a convenience store. I tried to get a some change for a ten, not only did he refuse, he started to act really rude to me. He claimed that I was bugging him and he doesn't have the "fucking" change for me. I know businesses in Scarborough in general lack customer service, or general manners as a matter of fact, but i really never realized how shitty my area is until recently.

So, I got my first "rejection" of the day out of the way rather unconventionally(or conventionally, depends on how you look at it.) before I even started today's challenge. But having done the rejection challenge for a week now, I wasn't rattled at all by such blunt rudeness. I calmly told him he shouldn't be rude to customers and walked away.



I suited up and got my props ready, my camera ready and my extremely awesome camerawoman ready to go in Fairview Mall. But the issue of legality was sudddenly brought up by one of the store owners. I consulted the mall administration and it turns out we are not allowed to videotape in the mall.

BOOHOO...

So I ended up job hunting the rest of the way in fairview mall. But rest assured, I will do the exact same challenge tomorrow in the streets of downtown! I've promised to step it up a notch in the EPIC factor for my first video, and I will deliver in that promise.:P




Instead of the video challenge, I did an alternate challenge, and this one is courtesy of Wendy. I decided to head over an LCBO, pretend that I forgot my ID, and try to get one of the customers to buy me alcohol! (I am 19, so I am just legal to buy alcohol in Toronto. But of course, given how youthful I look, most people would think I am trying to get alcohol underage)




I picked a 355ml can of beer and asked the old Asian guy beside me if I he could buy it for me. He didn't even dare to look at me in the eyes and just kept saying "no".

I thought it was just one guy who refused me like that. But it turns out everyone reacted to this the exact same way. I even offered to pay a guy double the price of the beer if he bought it for me. But all I got the rest of the way was a "no", with minimal eye contact. I guess people are just as afraid of rejecting absurd requests as they are scared of getting rejected.

However, what happened next surprised me quite a bit.

I saw a young black guy with headphones on walking down the store with his own liquor. When I asked him to buy me the beer, he simply took it without saying a thing and headed over the cash. I tried to discretely hand him my money but he refused me. I quietly walked down the aisle and waited at the entrance.

When the cashier saw him with the beer. He immediately accused the guy that he was trying to get someone else the beer because he saw me handing him the money.

"I saw that guy going around the store trying to get someone to buy him beer. I don't think you can do that man."

The poor guy looked scared and started to look for me. I hesitated for a sec before I decided to step in.

"It's cool, I found my ID!" I told the cashier. Then I looked over the guy and smiled and said, "thanks anyways bro."

I proceeded to explain to both of them about the rejection challenge and everybody in the store cracked up.

 "I knew something was up when you are asking so non-chalantly in the store," the black guy told me. "But you got me good bro."

I walked out of the store smiling. I guess I was TOO confident this time!

But hey, another day, another rejection! Time to enjoy my Bluejays game with my beer!

Monday, May 6, 2013

Day 5: Haggling in the mall(feat. MY DAD!)

First time doing a challenge with someone else today and it happens to be be my dad! Yes, I'm so damn cool. haha

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Of course, we chose to do the total Asian thing: haggling! 
The tough part about today's challenge is to actually be persistent. We are not just gonna stop at the first rejection. We both know that there is no way stores in the mall would offer extra discounts on their items. But we still have to try and carry on the hangling, without testing their patience too much. 

1. Tim Hortons

Ordered two small ice caps and the total came to $3.98. The cashier was an Asian guy who clearly just got hired. He looked really scared when I asked for a discount, especially when I pretended to exchange a look of shock with my dad at the price. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: (*exchanged a look with my dad) Can we get a discount on the ice caps? 
Cashier: Sorry, this decision isn't up to me, but I can offer you a combo
Me: But we want a discount on only the two ice cap though.
Cashier: I'm sorry, but try the combo(stuttering quite a bit)
Me: (I was about to say, 'can I talk to the manager, but the poor guy was clearly scared and this is my first hangling attempt') Oh really? not even a 20 percent discount? 
Cashier: Sorry
Me: Alright, it's fine.

Of couse, we got the Ice Capp. Nobody can resist that shit.


 
2. Aeropostale 

This was my best haggling attempt. The sales rep was a brown dude around my age, he seems like a pretty nice and chill guy, so I messed around with him a bit. It was a pair of orange shorts being sold at 20 bucks. I asked him if I can have it for 10 bucks. I don't know why I was so confident at this point when obviously I was just messing around. This was nearing the end of our conversations, my body language is starting to look real good.

Me: Look bro, I really do want that pair of pants. But you are giving me a tough time here man. I thought I could have it for 10 and now I would compromise for 16. But you still can't give me it? (I said it in a light-hearted tone of course)
Sales Rep: Sorry man. If you really wanna push it, go to the cash and see what they can do.
Me: Tough job being a sales rep eh? *smiles
Sales Rep: *chuckles

It was like a 2 min long conversation and I forgot all the details, but I REALLY wished I recorded this one, because this is the first time I felt like I put my personality into a challenge even in the face of rejection by a total stranger.


 

3. Dollarama



When I went into Dollarama with my dad. I just started cracking up. Nothing shows total cheapness than haggling for items in a dollar store. I kept thinking of that Russel Peters punchline as we waited in line. When I asked the lady if we could get a discount because we got so many items, she clearly looked ticked off. She just said "no, we are not allowed" in a really dry tone. It seemed like she dealt with crazies like us way too many times. Because of her sturn attitude and the huge line. We dropped the haggling and left.
 

4. Laura Secord

We got two small packages of candy and went to cash. The total rang up to $9.02.

Me: Can we have it for five?
Cashier: No, all sales are final, unless you have a coupon
Me: Okay, let's compromise, how about 7?
Cashier: Sorry, we really can't offer any discounts
Dad: Not even a dollar?
Me: Yeah, just give us for 8 bucks and we have a deal
Cashier: It's 9 bucks.
Dad: That means we got a 2 cent discount?
Cashier: Yeah, from the government *rolled her eyes


 
5. PJ's Pets

One of the employees was holding a parrot named Rena on her fingers. She told me she is just a baby and will learn to talk when she gets older. She was being sold at $950. I asked the employee if I can have her for $600. Of course the employee smiled at me and said no. I started to feel really bad at that point in haggling for a cheaper price on that adorable parrot, especially since I have no genuine intentions of owning her. So I just smiled and asked if I could pet her. 

If I had the money, I'd definitely buy her though. And then I'll teach her to haggle for me. That would be just friggin amazing, bahaha.

(I REALLY WISH I TOOK A PICTURE OF THAT ADORABLE PARROT, BUT AT THIS POINT MY PHONE WAS OUT AGAIN...GAH....)

6. International Grill

I didn't eat lunch and I was legitly looking for food at this point. So I thought I might as well try my luck at haggling at the food court. I saw this place called International Grill with little customers offering a 7.99 special. I told the lady I would take it for 8 with no tax. She told me to asked the boss. He gave me a look of relunctance when I told him that's all the money I have( I know, lame excuse and really poor way to haggle, but hey I was hungry okay?)and actually sold it to me! 

This place actually serves the best tasting food in the STC food court.That shrimp and chicken leg was pretty damn delicious. I'd recommend that $7.99 special to anyone. Don't haggle with the poor owner like I did please; This place needs business and they deserve it. :)

 

My dad was a pretty notorious haggler in China, but he was awfully quiet today. He blamed his lack of confidence in English, but I know it's because he knew we are gonna get rejected for sure. I wasn't too keen either today. I actually expected myself to mess around with the sales reps a bit more without testing their patience, but my sense of humour still run dry when I'm in a position of vulnerability. I guess it's just something I have to constantly work on.

 
 

AND... ONTO TOMORROW!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Day 4: The Social Validation Survey

The damage done yesterday is hard to recover from. I will try to make another sincere personal apology to her soon. Everything that led up to what I was going to yesterday suggest that I was going to use her as a public gimmick, and she happens to a person that loath being used.

I will be quite honest, I did let ambitions go over my head for a bit in the planning stages of things. But after careful considerations, I was about to put a sincere personal effort in trying to flatter a friend, with zero intentions of putting anything in the public spotlight if she's not comfortable. But of course, she did not feel that way, and I am definitely guilty in making her feel the way she felt.

But such as life. We make mistakes and we can't take those mistakes define who we are. Life goes on, and my rejection challenge shall continue. 


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For today's challenge, I went to wal-mart and asked people in survey style about their opinions on me ( of course, they don't know me, so technically I should not get offended by any of their comments, but of course, we know that's not the case for most of us).



Once again, I "shopped" around Walmart for a few minutes before I mastered up the courage to start my challenge. This is actually the first one I asked completely random strangers. So I guess it's a tad more difficult than the previous ones

Here is how I carried out all the conversations:

Me: Hi Excuse me, do you have a minute?
Shopper: Yes?
Me: I am conducting a survey and it's just three questions.

I then proceeded to ask people to say something nice about me, something bad about me, and last but not least, rate me out of ten in terms of my appearance.

Most people looked startled and then immediately started smiling when I asked the first question. and alot of them laughed when I asked them to rate me out of ten. I tried to small talk a little bit during the conversation and generally, because of the kind of questions I was asking, the overall mood of those conversations were really lighthearted.

My survey chart with my "pretty" handwriting
And of course, here is the survey result:

Percentage of  people that rejected the survey : 6

Compliments: My shirt, my hair, my voice, I'm nice, I'm brandy, I'm friendly, I'm enthusiatic, I'm young

Criticisms:  I'm disturbing her, popping out randomly, I'm short, I'm thin, I'm awkward, not mature, my shirt, my earring,

Average Score on my looks out of 10: 7.5(Highest 10, Lowest 6)

My Observations + My Thoughts and feelings:

-Someone actually rejected me when I asked her to help me take a photo, first time this ever happened in my life haha

 -Most people are nice to strangers if they have some time.They are usually very hesitant to say bad things about you.

 -I am actually a very shallow person, I actually felt a bit offended when a girl gave me a 6, haha.

-I am probably closer to 6 than an 8. Strangers are generally nicer to you and rate you higher. (But I think I'm a ten, and that's all that matters ;D)

-I really need to start working out.

-My abercombie plaid shirt is pretty damn nice

-One of the person I asked was a cute girl with a really attractive smile gave me a seven, and complimented on my shirt, If you are that girl in wal-mart and is reading this blog, ya know...call me. ;D

For tomorrow's challenge, I will try to produce my very first rejection challenge video using whatever material I capture from the cameras. So if the updates comes late, it's only because you are gonna be alot more entertained ;D


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I felt alot better in the evening, you can probably see that I was alot more cheerful in this vlog than the first one.

Day 3- Life Lessons and a public apology(failed promposal)

To keep the parties involved in this post protected, I will try to keep this as vague as possible. If you ask me personally about this, I will only disclose as much information as I feel comfortable with. Thank you.

I knew I was in for a learning experience when I signed up for this rejection challenge. But I never knew I would learn so much in one day, and in the way I did.

I learned that high school things should have been done in high school. I learned that the difference between a perfect idea and the worst outcome is just one misunderstanding away. And in a cruelly ironic fashion, I also learned the take home message of rejection challenge: we get rejected for what we do, not for who we are.

I "succeeded" in my challenge by getting rejected in the most devastating way possible. But in the meantime, I managed to hurt someone I cared about, and breached the trust of a friend.

I can't blame her at all for feeling the way she did. If I was in her shoes, and saw the way I talked about the first two challenges out in public(especially the mention of hidden cameras), and this video on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151606245390781 (I left things unattended, and cruel consequence awaited) , I would feel the exact same way. I would think I was being used and violated, by someone she thought she trusted.

As a friend, as a man and as a human being, I'd like to make the most sincere public apology to her for causing this misunderstanding. I was devastated to find out the result of my actions, and I take full responsibility for this result. I will try my best to explain my thoughts and intentions when she cools off, but I don't expect her to accept that apology, and she has no reasons to.

The rejection challenge will go on. But I will always take what happened today to remind me to keep to the true intentions of this rejection challenge: as a self development project that will bring forth my best self.


 The difference between flattering a friend, and hurting a friend, is often just one misunderstanding away.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Day 2: Applying to be the next Victoria Secret Model (Weird Job hunting)

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Today's challenge is alot tougher than yesterday's and my enthusiasm wasn't the greatest when I entered STC in the evening. Given that this is the second straight day I'm doing a challenge all by myself, and the fact that crazy shit would have been far more hilirious if there's more people watching. To be honest, the thought "giving up" did flash through my head once or twice. But of course, that is quickly dismissed. I have 1500 views and 55 subcribers on my youtube channel, each one of those people are there to hold me accountable!

I loitered in Jack Jones for 5 minutes pretending to shop before I finally mustered up the courage to ask the manager. But when I finally did things went alot better than I thought. Originally, I thought I wouldn't be able to pull it off with a straight face, but my composure and confidence even surprised myself.

The lady in Jack and Jones explained to me patiently why they currently aren't looking to hire live mannequins. I asked her if she would reconsider when I get more deezed up in the summer, she smiled and told me maybe.

For the next two stores, I tried to use my iphone as a hidden camera. I put it in the strap of my backpack. Turns out it was too far to the side. The audio is pretty good but unfortunately you can't see the manager. I will do what Jia did and hang my iphone on my neck for my future videos!



After those two failed attempts to capture my rejections. I went to Mcdonalds if I can be a server and I went to Tim Hortons and ask if I can be a manager(That manager was super rude to me when I was actually looking for a job last year so that was a sort of a troll attempt). Both were met with a resounding "NO SORRY".

At this point I am starting to become real confident. Those rejections did not hurt me at all despite how cold they were, and I decided to try something real gutsy.



Yes, I went into Victoria Secret and tried to apply to become the next Victoria Secret Model.

The manager was a middle aged Asian lady and here is how the conversation went.

Me: Hi, I am wondering how do I apply to become the next Victoria Secret Model?
Manager(Wasn't startled at all): Oh, for that, you have to go to the Victoria Secret Head Quarters and apply there. Then there is a selection process and there will be several interviews.
Me: So they actually hire cute guys like me?
Manager: Unfortunately not, but we do hire guys for stock
Me: That's unfortunate, cause I was really looking forward to this job

My dreams of modeling as a hot babe in panties has been dashed, but my challenge today succeeded in a big way. :)

Day 2: (Weird) Job Hunting

1:20pm

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Wendy informed me she can't go with me today in the morning, can't say I wasn't disappointed. I felt kinda dead and I actually ended up taking another nap and I never really got my day started til 1pm. This kind of behaviour is reminenscent of what I've done when I was depressed and I know this is not the way to go. If I didn't get so many people keeping me accountable now, I probably would have given up on Day 2. So once again, thank you everyone for watching my video and reading this blog!

I will probably head out in a bit to do a bit more planning for my challenge on Day 3(like I've mentioned before, this one got quite a bit more personal significance to me). Then I'll head straight to scarborough town centre to do my job hunting. This 2nd challenge is quite a bit tougher than the one yesterday. So we'll see how this goes!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Day 1: Learning Guitar from street artists

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What a great start! I got my rejection challenge underway today quite smoothly. Right after I did that little Vlog, I went to this guitar player right across the street and did what I had to do. To my suprise, after giving me a weird look and a smile, he was like "SURE!"

This actually got me more nervous than if he actually rejected me, cause a rejection was what I was expecting. I was pretty nervous the entire time as he taught me the song he was playing. With anxiety, I turned into an even worse guitar player than I actually am. It must be a pretty funny sight to see this scrawny Asian guy struggling to strum a G chord out in Dundas Square. I told him about my rejection challenge and got a picture in.



Unfortunately, my Iphone ran out of battery at that point so that first picture was the only one I got. After that nervewracking learning experience, I went to Pizza Pizza to grab a bite. I changed into better clothes and composed myself (I had trackpants and an ugly hoody on from my workout. Speaking of working out, I am tying to get my beachbody so I can get confident enough to try pickup lines on hot girls on the beach this summer for my last few challenges ;D).

The jitters went away and never came back after that. I became really composed and confident the rest of the way. The second guy I asked was an older guy. He taught me how to do the spider technique which I already know. It was pretty obvious he was trying to get rid of me at that point, especially when he pointed that my nails are too long and I can't really play today(DAMMNIT, WHY DIDN'T I CUT MY NAILS WHEN I KNOW I WAS GONNA PLAY GUITAR!). But in the end, he still taught me something, so it doesn't really count as an rejection.

At that point, I was actually worried about not getting rejected at all today, cause that would mean I failed my challenge! But that issue was quickly resolved when I went to the next guy. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hey man, wanna teach me guitar? Like right here?
The guy: *stopped playing his music  No. I don't teach
Me: That's cool.

To my surprise, I wasn't hurt at all! I guess I was just too mentally prepared for this first rejection. In retrospect, I should have carried on the conversation a big longer, try to be a bit more playful and nag him. But HEY, I was just happy to get my very first rejection out of the way!

The last guy was an old black raggae player. He rejected me and told me he needs to make money. But he had a big warm smile on and the rejection came off really sincere and I didn't feel offended at all. In fact, we got into a 10 minute conversation about his career as a street artist. Apparently, everybody can make a living off this if they really wanted to, and even the worst players can get about 100 bucks on average. SEE MOM AND DAD, I DON'T NEED TO GET A REAL JOB TO MAKE A LIVING. ;D

I was planning write more but I don't think you guys are too keen on reading stuff. I will take more pictures in the future and try to extend the length of my Vlog progressively. I still don't feel too confident commuicating in front of a camera just yet. But ya know I'll get better!

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